I am the Lord of thy house.
Thou shall have no other pets before
Thou shalt not ever ignore me.
I shall ignore thou when I feel like
Thou shalt be grateful that I even
give thou the time of day.
Remember my food dish and keep it
Thou shalt spend most of thy money
on toys and gifts for me.
Thou shalt always have thy lap ready
for me to curl up in.
Thou shalt shower me with love and
attention upon demand.
Above all, thou shalt do anything
and everything it takes to keep me happy.