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The Way to a Woman's
Heart is Through Her Cat:
So, you're dating
a gal who shares her residence with a cat. If your relationship
is going to get anywhere, I encourage you to follow
each of these suggestions:
1. Never, ever mention that you can (or can't) smell the
2. If the kitten wants to spend an hour untying your
shoelace, let him. When he gets it untied, retie it so he can
3. Never make a big show of brushing the cat fur
from your slacks.
4. Get in the habit of putting a couple of
sardines in your pocket. Slip them to the cat when she isn't
watching. (Note: you may haveto
do this through the entire dating period, because the cat willlikely
go for your pocket each time you visit.)
5. Don't push the cat off the sofa if he's
inserted himself between the two of you. If he's still sitting
between the two of you when you get amorous, reassure him
(mental telepathy is fine) that you have no harmful intentions
against his companion, and move him gently to your lap. Try to
keep one hand stroking the cat at all times in this situation.
6. If you're spending the night, do yourself a favor
and don't evenTRY
to sleep in the cat's favorite spot on the bed.
7. When you phone her, ask about her cat.
8. When she leaves the room to fix cocktails or
check on dinner, ask her if she's got a cat toy handy so you
can keep the cat entertained.
9. If you're taking her out to dinner, ask her
if it's okay to bring
home a "cat bag" of leftovers for the cat.